


Catfished

by Jorf



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Badgermao - Freeform, Catfish AU, M/M, Siren, cheesey and self indulgent, idk what else, mermaid, mermaid au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25786426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jorf/pseuds/Jorf
Summary: In @cringe-geek’s AU on tumblr, Mao Mao is a mermaid, and the main attraction at a normal land-restaurant. Badgerclops is a frequent customer at the restaurant and falls for him
Relationships: Badgerclops/Mao Mao Mao, Reggie/Rufus (Mao Mao)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. Something fishy

**Author's Note:**

> Once again this is not my AU, the Catfish AU was made by @cringe-geek on tumblr. Me and a bunch of other people were talking about this AU, and i borrowed quite a few ideas they threw out. Huge credit goes to Evalana, Tabasco, asexualsuccubus (shapeshift intrest on tumblr) and Hyenidae!
> 
> ALSO IMPORTANT NOTE! since Mao isn’t really the “singer” type I treated all his mermaid songs like he was just emitting low-frequency whale calls. Whale *mating* calls to BC ;)

Mao Mao has always lived in the sea, in a city of other catfish and other merfolk. His father was renowned as the greatest warrior in all the sea, his sisters were following in his footsteps, but Mao Mao, being the runt, was always left behind. His whole life he had been sheltered and protected within the city, but not anymore. He had made up his mind to prove to them he was just as strong as his family. He was going to sink a ship. Beforehand he had double checked his future and luck with the local Deranged Witch, she had said a bunch of nonsense that he dismissed as her usual ramblings, but the thing that stuck with Mao Mao was how she said he would find true love on the adventure. Her crystal ball showed the face of a man he didn’t recognize, but Mao Mao wasn’t concerned, he’d meet him on his way to proving himself to his family. 

“Bao Bao! We’re going on an adventure!” Mao Mao announced, grabbing his fishy companion. “Pack your bags bao Bao because we aren’t coming home until we’ve sunk a ship, maybe a whole fleet! HAHAHAA” he laughed his Trademark Mao laugh as he swam along the outskirts of the city. “Maybe that’s when I’ll meet my true love, after he sees me take down a whole ARMY of battleships, I’ll Blow him out of the water with my impressive feats!” he thought to himself, still daydreaming about how cool he would look as he swam into fisherman- infested territory. 

Bao Bao paddled beside him, growing more and more anxious at being in such dangerous waters. “You’ve got nothing to worry about Bao Bao, we’ve always got each other’s back.” he patted his friends head and kept moving. 

Eventually he peeped his head above water and started singing, and soon enough he saw a large vessel heading straight for him. Perfect! He tried moving back to lead them toward a rocky cove, but his tail had caught on something.  
A fishing net, his voice wavered as he struggled to detangle himself. The ship was getting close. 

“Bao Bao! Help me!” He yelled to his friend, who was swimming around in panicked circles (unhelpfully). Bao Bao was just a fish! He didn’t know what he was supposed to do to help.

Suddenly he felt himself being pulled out of the water, the air itching his skin, and then he was knocked out. 

——-

Vaguely, as if in a dream he remembers some foggy words and distant phrases. 

“Is that a real mermaid?! I didn...”  
“Is it still.....”  
“We’ll be rich! I can’t believe our...”  
“25 thousand... no, it’s small, an....”

It was blurry, he couldn’t make out a lot of it. 

Mao Mao woke up with a splitting headache, “Fuck. Where am I?” He looked around, squinting at the bright artificial lights. After a few minutes of fumbling around and squinting he realized he wasn’t in the ocean anymore, he was in some kind of fishtank on land. The building around him seemed to be a fancy restaurant, with gimmicky “mythical creature” decor and fake monster artifacts. Uhg. And Bao Bao was no where to be found, he had escaped, his best friend had LEFT HIM and saved himself while he got captured?! “AHG” Mao Mao growled, rubbing his temples, he was in some deep shit now. “How are you gonna get yourself out of this one Mao Mao??” he thought you himself. It was a question that would have to wait, he was *starving*. There were some other small reef fish in the tank, not enough to be a full meal, And right now he was in the mood to HUNT and kill... but these little fish would have to suffice. 

————————————————-

Rufus sat at his desk with his partner.  
“That was an amazing find Reggie! A real live catfish! This is going to attract so many new customers.”

The short raccoon blushed, “Aw, Rufus, I’m just glad I don’t have to pretend to be a mermaid anymore, the tail was getting pretty uncomfy. I don’t think many people bought the act anyway.” 

Rufus laughed, “in any case, I thought you were cute. And we’ll finally start getting some real business around here! Be here bright and early for the unveiling tomorrow.”  
————————————————-


	2. A funny fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Badgerclops makes breakfast and goes on a date! It goes really well, Will this be his soulmate? 
> 
> Oh and some weird fish is there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I borrowed a lot of ideas from friends on discord, same people I mentioned last chapter! And you still gotta imagine Mao Mao “sings” like those humpback whale calls.

The “true love” or “soulmate” or whatever Camille had mentioned in the cave the other day was the least of Mao’s concerns. Besides, it’s not like he’d be meeting any other eligible merfolk bachelors in this state. He hadn’t had anything to eat except fish and he was still craving real meat, The next person he saw after getting out of this tank would be in for a bad day.

A few days passed, people came and gawked at the legendary creature, and Mao Mao eventually stopped trying to attack and lunge at the crowds. Business was booming and the restaurant had gotten incredibly popular over such a short time. People came from all over to see the real, living mermaid. 

Mao Mao couldn’t escape just yet. Bigger more substantial fish were periodically placed in the tank for him to eat, he was hoping one of them would have a bone he could jimmy the locks with, but so far they had all been so small or brittle. “It’s just a matter of time” he thought to himself. His massive ego had kept him afloat, but it stung thinking about what he would tell his family when he got home. 

Ugh. He crushed the closest fish with his hand out of frustration. 

———————————

Badgerclops rolled out of bed at 2pm. Another day. He was beginning to get concerned about how the monotony of his life was affecting his mental health. Oh well, he was hungry anyway. 

He checked his phone as he waited for the water to boil. It was all the same stuff he hated seeing but at least it was something to do. 

The guy he’d matched with on Dating App TM had agreed to pay for dinner. Score! free food. Plus the restaurant he had picked out was hella expensive, so maybe this dude was rich. 

“....oh shit my ramen!” The water for his instant ramen had boiled and completely overflowed onto the stove. There wasn’t nearly enough water left in the pot to cook in, so he just took a bite out of the dried noodle block. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all. 

Soon enough 5 o clock rolled around and Badgerclops had to roll out of bed (again) to get ready for the date. Maybe if this guy actually was loaded he could get him to pay for more dates in the future. 

If he expected this guy to let him mooch, he at least had to look decent. Fortunately he still had that one good button-up shirt from a couple years ago. Hopefully it still fit. 

———

He tried to get to there early, first impressions and all, but he still ended up 10 minutes late.  
“Badgerclops?” a spotted dog stood to greet him with a smile. 

“Hey Marty,” he smiles awkwardly, ugh it had been way too long since he went out somewhere formal. “...So do you uh,, come here often?” Real smooth, idiot. 

Marty just chuckled, “I’ve been here once before, but it seems they’ve really outdone themselves recently.” 

Badgerclops really didn’t care about the history of the restaurant or whatever, but he wanted to keep the conversation going. “oh, uh what do you mean by that?” 

“Well for starters they got a new mystic exhibit! It’s been the talk of the town recently, at first I thought it was a hoax, but see for yourself,” He pointed to the other side of the restaurant where most of the patrons had gathered, vying for the attention of a mermaid. 

“Oh yeah,” Badgerclops said unconvinced, “didn’t this place have a different “mermaid” that was just some guy in a suit?” He tried to laugh it off and change the subject, but Marty was weirdly persistent about this. 

“No no, this one is *real*! 100% authentic! Sirens are supposed to sing, so I thought we would be hear for a romantic dinner-and-a-show, but most people have been saying that this one is just for looks.”

“Uh huh. So what do you do for a living?”  
——————

The rest of his date went smoothly, Badgerclops offered to go back to his place afterwards, but Marty wanted to take it slower. They planned a second date next week. 

“Still got it Badgy-boy!” He congratulated himself on the successful night. Before he left he wanted to get a closer look at the so-called “mermaid”, no way this weird little restaurant had a real siren. 

As he approached, the mermaid instantly perked up, a million different emotions he couldn’t decipher were playing out on his face. But he was more focused on the tail and looking for seams or imperfections in the fabric. It.. looked pretty real actually. 

Loud banging on the glass snapped him out of his trance. It was the mermaid. “Oh, sorry dude, I didn’t mean to—“ His apology wasn’t cut off by singing, the mermaid was singing to him. He held his little paws up to the glass and was looking at him so intensely. Honestly it was a kind of uncomfortable. Badgerclops face warmed as the siren sung even louder, Uncomfortable-Prolonged-Eye-Contact unwavering. 

“Oh my word!” 

He jumped at the sudden voice behind him “ACK! Sorry, I was just—“ 

“It must really like you...” the tall fox behind him thought for a moment. “Say, if you can come in and get our fish to sing on a regular schedule, you can eat here whenever you’d like for a year, on the house!” 

Free food did sound nice... the siren was still staring at him, but he had stopped singing. Even if he seemed a little weird, he couldn’t decline that offer. “Sure, when do you want me to come in?” 

“I’ll discuss the details with my partner, we’ll give you a call once it’s settled. Until then, Beary-cap!” He left with a bow. 

“It’s actually Badgercl- oh he’s gone, He left. Ok.” 

As he went to leave himself, he spared another glance at the aquarium, mermaid still staring at him, now almost,,, desperately? “What a weird fish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and criticism is always welcome! Even if it’s a little mean, idc, I’m always looking to provide the highest quality shitposts and cringe that I can!

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much my first fic, I felt super embarrassed and silly writing it, but it was fun either way. Hopefully next chapter will be out very soon! 
> 
> Any criticism or commentary would be super appreciated! Even if it’s mean, just be honest.


End file.
